“He is super smart, definitely, but he admits that he also loves dumb jokes, so we don’t know how this could turn out,” Trevor Noah said of the Tesla C.E.O.
Kimmel said of Greene’s angry tweets about a joke he made earlier this week: “She’s a snowflake and a sociopath at the same time — a ‘snowciopath.’”
“Of course they’re afraid to be honest,” Stephen Colbert said. “No matter what you say to a psychotic boss, you lose.”
Kimmel happily reported that the children’s book Cruz singled out to make a point about race at the Senate hearings for President Biden’s Supreme Court nominee this week became a No. 1 best seller.
Trevor Noah warned viewers not to get their hopes up: “Not only did Russia not agree to end the war; it wouldn’t even admit that it started a war.”
A late-night target throughout his time in office, the former president remained a favorite subject, along with Covid’s ongoing impact and President Biden’s first year in the White House.
The Fox News host joined his network in insisting the company’s burned-down Christmas tree is proof of the war on Christmas.
Noah said that new strains are like streaming new TV shows: “You gotta stick with it the first couple of weeks and see where it goes.”
“I think it’s nice that we’re friendly with our neighbors again,” Kimmel said of Biden’s meeting with leaders of Canada and Mexico.
Trevor Noah said the excision of family leave meant that “America will remain the only nation in the world where women try to give birth during their lunch break.”
Noah did an impression of Trump posting on his new social media site: “OK, I shared my truth, now I dare you to hang Mike Pence.”
“You can tell a leader really knows his stuff when he uses the phrase ‘do a coup,’” Fallon said of Trump, who belittled a general for fearing he might try to stay in power.
The temperature on the campaign trail is rising as the primary race enters its final month.
Meyers made a “M*A*S*H” reference about the Republican who denounces Donald Trump: “I feel like B.J. Hunnicutt speaking up in support of Charles Winchester.”
“Earth Day started back in the ’70s with very lofty goals and has kind of turned into, ‘Guys, please, just for one day try not to light garbage on or near a panda bear, OK?’” Jimmy Kimmel said.
From Twitter to cable TV, the duo is changing the culture of comedy.
Allegations of “Bahamas sex trafficking with a weed-peddling hand surgeon” make the congressman a nearly too-perfect representative of his state, Colbert said.
The “Late Night” host says the president is at his best “when he’s got the vibe of an old-timer football coach giving his young squad an inspirational halftime speech.”
“If somebody said ‘N95’ to you one year ago, you’d think they were a bingo caller,” Kimmel joked on America’s “coronaversary.”
“Snake on a plane, right there!” Kimmel joked. “Headed, ironically, to the very place he tried to build the wall around.”
“Counting the 2016 Republican primary, we’ve watched him do that 16 times,” Colbert said. “It’s excruciating. It’s like dental surgery and tonight was like getting our last wisdom tooth taken out.”
After President Trump seemed to blame liberal states for the Covid-19 death toll, Meyers said he’d done a great job “if you just take out all the people that died.”
“That’s right, no more N.R.A., no more Confederate flags. This is turning into the worst year of Ted Nugent’s life,” the “Tonight Show” host said.
After weeks of doing his show from home, Seth Meyers pines for the days when he had “an audience of human beings.”
Stephen Colbert joked that lawmakers might ease shutdowns after hearing “some sound policy ideas from Lady Flag Screamer and Guy in a ‘Purge’ Mask.”