Kimmel poked fun at Gaetz and his friend Joel Greenberg for making their Venmo transactions public: “One of those ‘salads’ cost more than $1,000 — I guess they added avocado.”
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Tag Archives: Kimmel, Jimmy
Jimmy Fallon Pokes Fun at Johnson & Johnson’s Vaccine Pause
“That’s right, they’re recommending a pause. Then anyone who’s ever been dumped was like: ‘Oh, boy. We know what “pause” means,’” Fallon said.
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Late Night Gets Serious About Police Brutality
Trevor Noah and Stephen Colbert criticized officers’ use of force against Black men, citing two cases in which traffic stops turned violent.
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Matt Gaetz Is ‘Almost Too Florida,’ Says Stephen Colbert
Allegations of “Bahamas sex trafficking with a weed-peddling hand surgeon” make the congressman a nearly too-perfect representative of his state, Colbert said.
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Jimmy Kimmel Takes On Matt Gaetz Over His Bid for a Pre-emptive Pardon
Trump aides denied him a blanket pardon for fear it would set a bad precedent, Kimmel said: “At the time, they were only interested in setting terrible precedents.”
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Jimmy Fallon Celebrates Joe Biden’s Early-Bird Special
Late-night hosts welcomed the news that vaccines would be available to all American adults two weeks ahead of schedule.
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Late Night Doesn’t Buy Republicans’ Corporate Boycotts
Stephen Colbert suggested Donald Trump’s followers get comfortable with going generic: “I hope you like Great Value Bat and Ball Product and Kirkland Signature Airlines.”
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Stephen Colbert Is Skeptical of Putin’s Best Wishes for Biden
“That is ominous,” Colbert said of Vladimir Putin’s wishing the president “good health” on Thursday. “But then again, when Putin says anything, it kind of sounds ominous.”
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Stephen Colbert Mocks Republicans’ Suspicious Minds on Vaccines
“Despite vaccines becoming more available, there’s still one thing holding Americans back: Americans,” Colbert lamented on Tuesday.
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Trevor Noah: Andrew Cuomo Is ‘the Only Person Who Wishes It Was Still 2020’
“At some point we’re going to find out the Statue of Liberty only holds that torch so she can fend him off,” Noah said Monday of sexual misconduct allegations against the New York governor.
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Jimmy Kimmel Reminisces About One Year of ‘Living Contagiously’
“If somebody said ‘N95’ to you one year ago, you’d think they were a bingo caller,” Kimmel joked on America’s “coronaversary.”
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Stephen Colbert Celebrates the Passing of the Stimulus Bill
“There you go, baby. You’re rich! Buy yourself something nice, like rent or medicine,” Colbert said on Wednesday’s “Late Show.”
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Royals’ Interview Response Rings Hollow to Late-Night Hosts
Stephen Colbert was puzzled by the British monarchy’s concern about being seen as out of touch: “Because if there’s one thing the palace surrounded by iron spikes looked like before, it was ‘in touch.’”
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Late Night Recaps Oprah’s Royal Interview
“You know things are bad at Buckingham Palace if they came to America to get away from racism,” Jimmy Kimmel joked on Monday night.
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Jimmy Fallon: Ron Johnson Could Replace Ted Cruz as Most Hated Senator
The “Tonight Show” host joked that the Wisconsin Republican could be more detested for at least the 10 hours that Senate clerks read the 628-page stimulus bill aloud, as Johnson demanded.
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Stephen Colbert: QAnon Supporters Suffer From ‘March Madness’
Colbert poked fun at the group’s latest conspiracy theory that March 4 would be Donald Trump’s true Inauguration Day.
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Jimmy Kimmel Skewers Andrew Cuomo Over Sexual Harassment Allegations
“In the span of one month, Andrew Cuomo has somehow done the impossible: He made Bill de Blasio the second-most-hated politician in New York,” Kimmel said.
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Late Night Recaps CPAC and the Golden Globes
The conference was billed as the largest and most influential gathering of conservatives in the world, Stephen Colbert said on Monday. “That’s if you don’t count their last gathering” at the Capitol.
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Seth Meyers Is Excited to See Trump’s Tax Returns
Meyers said it shouldn’t be hard for the Manhattan D.A. to find a crime in “the tax records of a guy who claims to be a billionaire, yet paid only $750 in federal income taxes when he was president.”
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Late Night Laughs Off Mike Pence’s Renewed Loyalty to Trump
“I don’t know where the line is between forgiving and being a doormat, but Mike Pence crossed it a long time ago,” Trevor Noah said.
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Stephen Colbert Didn’t Realize America Had Been Canceled
“Although I’m not surprised — the last season was pretty unbelievable,” Stephen Colbert said of CPAC’s 2021 theme: “America Uncanceled.”
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Late Night Blasts Ted Cruz’s Post-Cancún Photo Op
“On Saturday, he posted photos of himself handing out bottled water with the hashtag ‘Texas strong.’ Sure, dude, we totally believe you,” Seth Meyers joked on Monday.
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Jimmy Kimmel: Texas in Crisis, Ted Cruz Says, ‘Adios, Amigos’
“Snake on a plane, right there!” Kimmel joked. “Headed, ironically, to the very place he tried to build the wall around.”
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Late Night Blasts Conservatives Blaming Windmills for Texas Blackouts
“I know people were praying for Texas to go blue, but not like this,” Trevor Noah joked on Wednesday’s “Daily Show.”
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Snowstorm Disarmed Texas, Trevor Noah Says
“They don’t have snow shovels out there. Their best bet is to grab their AR-15s and shoot each snowflake before it lands: ‘Go back to Canada where you belong!’” Noah joked on Tuesday.
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Jimmy Kimmel Knows How the Impeachment Sequel Will End
“It’s kind of like ‘The Empire Strikes Back,’” Kimmel said. “We already know how it ends, but we’re watching it anyway.”
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Stephen Colbert Gets Serious About New Insurrection Evidence
“Because only by facing this truth will we have any hope of stopping it from happening again,” Colbert said. “Also, I’m pretty convinced it wasn’t antifa now.”
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Trump’s Trial: Stephen Colbert Experiences ‘Déjà Coup’
Donald Trump’s second impeachment trial kicked off on Tuesday with late-night hosts predicting it will end just like the first.
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Jimmy Kimmel Tackles ‘Weirdest Super Bowl’ Ever
“This was the first Super Bowl ever where I had to yell, ‘Be quiet — I’m trying to hear the poem!’” Kimmel said.
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Trevor Noah: Marjorie Taylor Greene Deleted Her Browser History IRL
The congresswoman disavowed some of her outlandish statements. But Noah says she’s “so crazy that her saying that 9/11 happened makes me go, ‘Wait, did it?’”
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Trevor Noah Loves Seeing Newsmax Shook
The “Daily Show” host said the threat of a defamation lawsuit forced anchors at the right-wing news site into “behaving like actual journalists.”
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Trump’s Being Impeached Again, So It Must Be Groundhog Day
“His lawyers just copied and pasted his defense from the last impeachment: Control-F ‘Ukraine,’ replace with ‘riot,’” Jimmy Fallon said.
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Trump’s New Lawyers Represent Him Well, Says Late Night
“My God, who on Earth would hire Jeffrey Epstein’s defense lawyer?” Stephen Colbert said on Monday. “Oh, Jeffrey Epstein’s wingman? Yeah, that makes sense.”
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Jimmy Kimmel Thinks Marjorie Taylor Greene Needs an Education
“If you don’t know who this person is, I wish I didn’t, too,” Kimmel said of the QAnon enthusiast who’s been named to the House Education and Labor Committee.
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Stephen Colbert Is Thrilled to Have a President With a Plan
“Yesterday, President Biden announced a dramatic change to America’s Covid plan: There is one,” Colbert said on Wednesday.
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Late Night Just Can’t Quit Trump
If America can’t move on until the second impeachment trial is over, then neither can Stephen Colbert and his colleagues.
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Late Night Is Unswayed by Republicans’ Excuses
Trevor Noah says the end of Donald Trump’s term is no reason not to impeach him: “If you get fired at Best Buy, they don’t just let you steal a TV on the way out.”
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Late Night Weighs In on Biden’s First Day on the Job
It’s never easy, “especially when you’re the new manager and the last guy got called into H.R. for inappropriate workplace treasoning,” Stephen Colbert said.
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Samantha Bee Welcomes America’s ‘Brand-New Very Old President’
Bee and other hosts were relieved to see the Trump years finally end. “So that’s what it feels like when you’re not grinding your teeth,” Seth Meyers said.
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Late Night Reflects on the Legacy of ‘He Who Shall Remain Shameless’
Inauguration Eve is “the day before the day we’ve all been waiting for,” Stephen Colbert said on Tuesday night.
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Late Night Celebrates the Final 36 Hours of Trump in Charge
“Normally, after a president’s term, they show before and after photos to prove how much the job aged him. This time, they’re showing before and after photos of all of us,” Jimmy Fallon joked on Monday.
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Late Night: Shocker. Trump Stiffs Giuliani and Won’t Take His Calls.
“Impeachment was great, but there really is no more perfect way for this to end than Trump stiffing Rudy,” Seth Meyers said.
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Late Night Reviews ‘Trump’s Impeachment: The Sequel’
“Makes sense — this president loves having seconds,” Stephen Colbert said on Wednesday.
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Jimmy Fallon: Mike Pence Just Can’t Win With Trump Fans
“It’s a tough choice for Pence: Invoke the 25th and have MAGA nation hate you, or refuse and still have MAGA nation hate you,” Fallon said.
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Late Night Is a Bit Concerned About Trump’s Last Nine Days
Jimmy Kimmel wants him out, but admits that “usually when the Senate tries to ram something through that quickly, it’s a conservative Supreme Court justice.”
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Late Night Is Unimpressed by Titanic-Fleeing Republicans
“Resigning with two weeks left feels less like some moral stand and more like leaving early to beat traffic,” Jimmy Fallon said of the departing officials.
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Stephen Colbert Goes ‘Unexpectedly Live’
“It’s a horrifying day that will go down in U.S. history, however much longer that is,” Colbert said after President Trump incited a mob of his supporters to storm the Capitol.
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Late Night Wonders if Mike Pence Will Stand by His Man
Seth Meyers joked that the vice president had to “choose between the Constitution and a sleazy mafia don cold-calling election officials illegally, begging for votes like a telemarketer.”
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Watch Jimmy Kimmel Target Trump’s ‘Perfect’ Georgia Call
Just as the hosts’ holiday break was ending, President Trump asked Georgia’s secretary of state to “find” some more votes for him.
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Late Night Returns in Time for Another Perfect Trump Call
Just as the hosts’ holiday break was ending, President Trump asked Georgia’s secretary of state to “find” some more votes for him.
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