Marjorie Taylor Greene Calls the Police on Jimmy Kimmel

Kimmel said of Greene’s angry tweets about a joke he made earlier this week: “She’s a snowflake and a sociopath at the same time — a ‘snowciopath.’”

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Jimmy Kimmel Mocks Donald Trump’s Endorsement of Sarah Palin

“Trump endorsing Palin is like paste eating endorsing glue sniffing,” Kimmel joked.

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Late Night Gets Why Putin’s Advisers Keep Him in the Dark

“Of course they’re afraid to be honest,” Stephen Colbert said. “No matter what you say to a psychotic boss, you lose.”

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Stephen Colbert Condemns Trump’s Digging for Dirt During a War

“It’s generally frowned upon for U.S. presidents, current or former, to solicit our murderous mortal enemies for dirt on their political rivals,” Colbert said.

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Trevor Noah: Addressing Congress, Zelensky ‘Knew His Audience’

Ukraine’s president must have researched American history before his speech, said Noah (who speculated about how it “could have gone very wrong”).

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Seth Meyers Skewers Trump for a ‘Looney’ Idea on Russia

Meyers said the former president’s suggestion that the U.S. paint Chinese flags on planes and bomb Russia was “a slightly stupider version of Bugs Bunny dressing up as a sexy lady to distract Elmer Fudd.”

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Seth Meyers Roasts Ron DeSantis for Berating Teens

Meyers said Florida’s governor was like “an old man who sees a bunch of innocent teens walking by and screams, ‘Hey, you kids get on my lawn!’”

#colbert-stephen, #fallon-jimmy, #kimmel-jimmy, #late-night-with-seth-meyers-tv-program, #late-show-with-stephen-colbert-tv-program, #meyers-seth, #noah-trevor-1984, #television, #the-daily-show-with-trevor-noah-tv-program, #the-tonight-show-tv-program

Late Night Recaps Biden’s Annual ‘Status Update’

Trevor Noah joked Biden’s speech was “like a birthday card from a 4-year-old: A lot of words didn’t make sense, but you got what it was trying to say.”

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Stephen Colbert Grades Biden’s First State of the Union Address

“Many lawmakers wore the colors of the Ukrainian flag, blue and yellow,” Colbert said. “It’s a show of solidarity not seen since the last ‘Minions’ movie.”

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Late Night Gets Serious About Ukraine

Hosts did their best to bring levity to their shows on an otherwise somber day.

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Seth Meyers Considers Trump’s Putin Praise

Meyers joked that Trump “narrates Putin’s every move like he is Tony Romo calling the last drive of a playoff game.”

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Stephen Colbert Riffs on Joe Biden’s Sanctions Against Russia

Colbert said Putin sought to keep the peace, and imitated Russia’s president: “I keep this piece of Ukraine. I keep that piece of Ukraine. I keep all the pieces of Ukraine.”

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Late Night Comments on the Washington Commanders

The hosts didn’t think much of the N.F.L. team’s long-awaited new name. Jimmy Kimmel pointed out that it’s also the name of the president’s dog.

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Trevor Noah: Trump Is America’s Relentless Ex

“And like many exes, he really wants a second chance. But instead of promising to do better next time, he’s threatening to do even worse,” Noah said.

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Late Night Supports Biden’s Supreme Court Strategy

Trevor Noah joked that Biden will nominate a Black woman to replace Stephen Breyer “because he cares deeply about representation and winning Georgia.”

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Late Night Reflects on Stephen Breyer’s Retirement Plan

“Yep, at 83, Breyer only has two options: either retire or play quarterback for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers,” Jimmy Fallon said.

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Trevor Noah Weighs In on Biden’s Hot Mic Drop

“You see? This is what happens when you have been on Zoom calls for two years — you forget that real life doesn’t have a mute button,” Noah said of the president’s comments about a Fox News reporter.

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Late Night Celebrates One Year of President Biden

“A year ago, Biden pledged to address Covid, the economy, climate change and racial injustice. And good news — after 12 months of tireless effort, we’re all getting three free masks,” Jimmy Fallon said.

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Jimmy Kimmel Not Surprised by Trump Fraud Allegations

“The walls appear to be closing in on Trump — big, beautiful walls,” Kimmel said, as new details emerged from an investigation into the ex-president’s family business.

#colbert-stephen, #corden-james-1978, #fallon-jimmy, #jimmy-kimmel-live-tv-program, #kimmel-jimmy, #late-night-with-seth-meyers-tv-program, #late-show-with-stephen-colbert-tv-program, #meyers-seth, #noah-trevor-1984, #television, #the-daily-show-with-trevor-noah-tv-program, #the-late-late-show-with-james-corden-tv-program, #the-tonight-show-tv-program

Jimmy Kimmel Recaps Trump’s Latest Rally

“Thousands of people showed up, because there’s nothing to do in Florence, Arizona,” Kimmel said.

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Stephen Colbert Wants Hard Time for the Oath Keepers 11

“Finally!” Colbert said. “Up until now, the most serious charge any of these guys has gotten is impersonating a Flintstone.”

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Jimmy Kimmel Is High Off Covid’s Cannabis Breakthrough

“All this time we’ve been listening to the C.D.C., we should have been eating CBD,” Kimmel said of research showing that cannabis compounds can prevent Covid-19.

#colbert-stephen, #fallon-jimmy, #jimmy-kimmel-live-tv-program, #kimmel-jimmy, #late-night-with-seth-meyers-tv-program, #late-show-with-stephen-colbert-tv-program, #meyers-seth, #television, #the-tonight-show-tv-program

Stephen Colbert Debates Catching Omicron on Purpose

“I mean, all the other late-night hosts are doing it,” Colbert said.

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Seth Meyers: ‘Ted Cruz Has a Thing for Self-Humiliation’

“That clip was like watching one of those dumb cable news segments where a reporter willingly gets Tasered just to show everyone how bad it is,” Meyers joked of Cruz’s recent appearance on ‘Tucker Carlson.’

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‘Late Night’ Cancels Shows After Seth Meyers Tests Positive for Coronavirus

The NBC host said, “I feel fine,” and that his program would most likely return in a remote format next week.

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Late Night Is Happy Twitter Booted Marjorie Taylor Greene

Seth Meyers said that living in a world with the Republican congresswoman’s “insane” screaming was “like trying to have a conversation with a friend on the street next to a jackhammer.”

#colbert-stephen, #corden-james-1978, #fallon-jimmy, #late-night-with-seth-meyers-tv-program, #late-show-with-stephen-colbert-tv-program, #meyers-seth, #television, #the-late-late-show-with-james-corden-tv-program, #the-tonight-show-tv-program

Seth Meyers Wants Fox News to Stop Saying ‘Big Meat’

As Fox hosts went after President Biden over rising prices, Meyers found their choice of words a little distracting.

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Stephen Colbert Holds the Republican Caucus in Contempt

Colbert noted that the House voted to hold Mark Meadows in criminal contempt, “and the rest of us can just keep holding him in regular contempt.”

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Late Night Praises Fox News Hosts for Their Acting Skills

The news that Fox News anchors sent texts on Jan. 6 urging President Trump to speak out against the insurrection while blaming antifa on air was the talk of late night on Tuesday.

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Stephen Colbert Comments on the ‘Slides of Sedition’

Colbert couldn’t believe Congress is currently investigating a 38-page PowerPoint document detailing plans to overturn the 2020 election.

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Late Night Is Tired of Tucker Carlson’s ‘Foaming’ at the News

The Fox News host joined his network in insisting the company’s burned-down Christmas tree is proof of the war on Christmas.

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Late Night: Putin and Biden’s Call Could Have Been an Email

The two-hour video call was a hot topic on late night Tuesday.

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Trevor Noah Suggests Sending Marjorie Taylor Greene to Beijing

“If you want to get back at China, you have Marjorie Taylor Greene in the stands,” Noah said of the U.S. diplomatic boycott of the Olympics.

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Seth Meyers Skewers Subpoenaed Trump Cronies

“It’s also important to remember these people only hang out with each other because there is no one else who will hang out with them,” Meyers said.

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Late Night Riffs on Biden’s Order to Release Oil Reserves

“For those who don’t know, the strategic reserve is a series of caverns filled with fossil fuel and strategically located inside Rudy Giuliani’s head,” Colbert joked.

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Late Night Celebrates Biden’s 79th Birthday

Jimmy Fallon joked that when the president blew out his candles, “everyone started clapping and the lights went on and off.”

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Late Night Takes on the U.S.-Mexico-Canada BBQ, or Summit

“I think it’s nice that we’re friendly with our neighbors again,” Kimmel said of Biden’s meeting with leaders of Canada and Mexico.

#desusmero-tv-program, #fallon-jimmy, #jimmy-kimmel-live-tv-program, #kimmel-jimmy, #late-night-with-seth-meyers-tv-program, #meyers-seth, #television, #the-tonight-show-tv-program

Late Night Celebrates the QAnon Shaman’s 41-Month Prison Sentence

“That’s nearly three and a half years, so with good behavior, he could be out in time to storm the Capitol in 2024,” Stephen Colbert joked on Wednesday.

#chansley-jacob-anthony-jake-angeli, #colbert-stephen, #fallon-jimmy, #kimmel-jimmy, #late-night-with-seth-meyers-tv-program, #late-show-with-stephen-colbert-tv-program, #meyers-seth, #staples-center, #television, #the-daily-show-with-trevor-noah-tv-program, #the-late-late-show-with-james-corden-tv-program, #the-tonight-show-tv-program

Late Night Shares Juicy Passages From ‘Betrayal’

Stephen Colbert and Seth Meyers reported some of the most interesting items from Jonathan Karl’s new book.

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Seth Meyers: Steve Bannon Fancies Himself to Be Logan Roy

Meyers said Bannon was more like “a coked-up flunky who would get hired to help cousin Greg shred some documents and accidentally screw it up.”

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Late Night Goes After Ted Cruz for Going After Big Bird

Jimmy Kimmel said conservatives like Ted Cruz have some bizarre beliefs: “The elections are rigged, the deep state runs the world, and Big Bird is working for Merck now.”

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Jimmy Kimmel: ‘Aaron Is a Karen’

As Covid sidelined the Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers, Kimmel and other hosts scorned him for implying that he’d been vaccinated.

#colbert-stephen, #fallon-jimmy, #jimmy-kimmel-live-tv-program, #kimmel-jimmy, #late-night-with-seth-meyers-tv-program, #late-show-with-stephen-colbert-tv-program, #meyers-seth, #television, #the-late-late-show-with-james-corden-tv-program, #the-tonight-show-tv-program

Late Night Recaps Democrats’ Stinging Election Results

Stephen Colbert said Democrats are used to being disappointed: “That’s why they’re changing their logo from the donkey to Eeyore.”

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Jimmy Fallon: Biden Can Cut Emissions Just as He Did His Ratings

“I mean, he cut his approval rating in half in three months,” Fallon joked on Tuesday.

#colbert-stephen, #fallon-jimmy, #jimmy-kimmel-live-tv-program, #late-night-with-seth-meyers-tv-program, #late-show-with-stephen-colbert-tv-program, #meyers-seth, #noah-trevor-1984, #television, #the-daily-show-with-trevor-noah-tv-program, #the-tonight-show-tv-program

Stephen Colbert: Biden Got the Pope’s Blessing

“The pope telling you you’re a good Catholic is like a bear telling you you’re good at pooping in the woods,” Colbert said of President Biden, who visited the Vatican over the weekend.

#colbert-stephen, #jimmy-kimmel-live-tv-program, #kimmel-jimmy, #late-night-with-seth-meyers-tv-program, #late-show-with-stephen-colbert-tv-program, #meyers-seth, #noah-trevor-1984, #television, #the-daily-show-with-trevor-noah-tv-program

Late Night Savors What’s Left of Biden’s ‘Build Back Better’ Plan

Trevor Noah said the excision of family leave meant that “America will remain the only nation in the world where women try to give birth during their lunch break.”

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Late Night Is Aghast the G.O.P. Is Allegedly Linked to Jan. 6

“It’s a real ‘Ocean’s 11’ of people who can’t count to 10,” Stephen Colbert said.

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Late Night Isn’t Threatened by Trump’s Latest Stunt

This week, Donald Trump said Republicans should not be voting in the 2022 or 2024 elections. “Wow, he’s been out of office so long, he’s forgotten how threats work,” Seth Meyers said.

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Seth Meyers Berates Fox News for Its Reporting on Vaccine Mandate

Meyers took Tucker Carlson to task for not “being certain” while reporting falsehoods.

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Late Night Shames Moderna for Refusing to Share

“Imagine only making one thing and billions of people want it,” Jimmy Kimmel said. “This must be how the Baha Men felt after recording ‘Who Let the Dogs Out.’”

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