Late Night Recaps CPAC and the Golden Globes

The conference was billed as the largest and most influential gathering of conservatives in the world, Stephen Colbert said on Monday. “That’s if you don’t count their last gathering” at the Capitol.

#colbert-stephen, #corden-james-1978, #fallon-jimmy, #jimmy-kimmel-live-tv-program, #kimmel-jimmy, #late-night-with-seth-meyers-tv-program, #late-show-with-stephen-colbert-tv-program, #meyers-seth, #noah-trevor-1984, #the-daily-show-with-trevor-noah-tv-program, #the-late-late-show-with-james-corden-tv-program, #the-tonight-show-tv-program

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Seth Meyers Is Excited to See Trump’s Tax Returns

Meyers said it shouldn’t be hard for the Manhattan D.A. to find a crime in “the tax records of a guy who claims to be a billionaire, yet paid only $750 in federal income taxes when he was president.”

#colbert-stephen, #fallon-jimmy, #jimmy-kimmel-live-tv-program, #kimmel-jimmy, #late-night-with-seth-meyers-tv-program, #late-show-with-stephen-colbert-tv-program, #meyers-seth, #television, #the-daily-show-with-trevor-noah-tv-program, #the-tonight-show-tv-program

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Late Night Laughs Off Mike Pence’s Renewed Loyalty to Trump

“I don’t know where the line is between forgiving and being a doormat, but Mike Pence crossed it a long time ago,” Trevor Noah said.

#colbert-stephen, #fallon-jimmy, #jimmy-kimmel-live-tv-program, #kimmel-jimmy, #late-night-with-seth-meyers-tv-program, #late-show-with-stephen-colbert-tv-program, #meyers-seth, #noah-trevor-1984, #television, #the-daily-show-with-trevor-noah-tv-program, #the-tonight-show-tv-program

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Late Night Blasts Ted Cruz’s Post-Cancún Photo Op

“On Saturday, he posted photos of himself handing out bottled water with the hashtag ‘Texas strong.’ Sure, dude, we totally believe you,” Seth Meyers joked on Monday.

#colbert-stephen, #fallon-jimmy, #jimmy-kimmel-live-tv-program, #kimmel-jimmy, #late-night-with-seth-meyers-tv-program, #late-show-with-stephen-colbert-tv-program, #meyers-seth, #noah-trevor-1984, #television, #the-daily-show-with-trevor-noah-tv-program, #the-tonight-show-tv-program

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Jimmy Kimmel Knows How the Impeachment Sequel Will End

“It’s kind of like ‘The Empire Strikes Back,’” Kimmel said. “We already know how it ends, but we’re watching it anyway.”

#fallon-jimmy, #jimmy-kimmel-live-tv-program, #kimmel-jimmy, #late-night-with-seth-meyers-tv-program, #meyers-seth, #noah-trevor-1984, #television, #the-daily-show-with-trevor-noah-tv-program, #the-tonight-show-tv-program

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Stephen Colbert Gets Serious About New Insurrection Evidence

“Because only by facing this truth will we have any hope of stopping it from happening again,” Colbert said. “Also, I’m pretty convinced it wasn’t antifa now.”

#bee-samantha, #colbert-stephen, #fallon-jimmy, #full-frontal-with-samantha-bee-tv-program, #jimmy-kimmel-live-tv-program, #kimmel-jimmy, #late-show-with-stephen-colbert-tv-program, #meyers-seth, #noah-trevor-1984, #television, #the-daily-show-with-trevor-noah-tv-program, #the-tonight-show-tv-program

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Jimmy Kimmel Tackles ‘Weirdest Super Bowl’ Ever

“This was the first Super Bowl ever where I had to yell, ‘Be quiet — I’m trying to hear the poem!’” Kimmel said.

#brady-tom, #colbert-stephen, #fallon-jimmy, #football, #jimmy-kimmel-live-tv-program, #kansas-city-chiefs, #kimmel-jimmy, #late-night-with-seth-meyers-tv-program, #late-show-with-stephen-colbert-tv-program, #meyers-seth, #new-england-patriots, #noah-trevor-1984, #poetry-and-poets, #super-bowl, #tampa-bay-buccaneers, #television, #the-daily-show-with-trevor-noah-tv-program

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Trevor Noah: Marjorie Taylor Greene Deleted Her Browser History IRL

The congresswoman disavowed some of her outlandish statements. But Noah says she’s “so crazy that her saying that 9/11 happened makes me go, ‘Wait, did it?’”

#colbert-stephen, #fallon-jimmy, #kimmel-jimmy, #late-night-with-seth-meyers-tv-program, #late-show-with-stephen-colbert-tv-program, #meyers-seth, #noah-trevor-1984, #television, #the-daily-show-with-trevor-noah-tv-program, #the-tonight-show-tv-program

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Trump’s Being Impeached Again, So It Must Be Groundhog Day

“His lawyers just copied and pasted his defense from the last impeachment: Control-F ‘Ukraine,’ replace with ‘riot,’” Jimmy Fallon said.

#colbert-stephen, #fallon-jimmy, #jimmy-kimmel-live-tv-program, #kimmel-jimmy, #late-night-with-seth-meyers-tv-program, #late-show-with-stephen-colbert-tv-program, #meyers-seth, #noah-trevor-1984, #television, #the-daily-show-with-trevor-noah-tv-program, #the-tonight-show-tv-program, #trump-donald-j

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Trump’s New Lawyers Represent Him Well, Says Late Night

“My God, who on Earth would hire Jeffrey Epstein’s defense lawyer?” Stephen Colbert said on Monday. “Oh, Jeffrey Epstein’s wingman? Yeah, that makes sense.”

#colbert-stephen, #fallon-jimmy, #jimmy-kimmel-live-tv-program, #kimmel-jimmy, #late-night-with-seth-meyers-tv-program, #late-show-with-stephen-colbert-tv-program, #meyers-seth, #noah-trevor-1984, #television, #the-daily-show-with-trevor-noah-tv-program, #the-tonight-show-tv-program, #trump-donald-j

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Stephen Colbert Is Thrilled to Have a President With a Plan

“Yesterday, President Biden announced a dramatic change to America’s Covid plan: There is one,” Colbert said on Wednesday.

#bee-samantha, #biden-joseph-r-jr, #colbert-stephen, #corden-james-1978, #fallon-jimmy, #full-frontal-with-samantha-bee-tv-program, #jimmy-kimmel-live-tv-program, #kimmel-jimmy, #late-night-with-seth-meyers-tv-program, #meyers-seth, #noah-trevor-1984, #the-daily-show-with-trevor-noah-tv-program, #the-late-late-show-with-james-corden-tv-program, #the-tonight-show-tv-program

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Late Night Is Unswayed by Republicans’ Excuses

Trevor Noah says the end of Donald Trump’s term is no reason not to impeach him: “If you get fired at Best Buy, they don’t just let you steal a TV on the way out.”

#brady-tom, #colbert-stephen, #conan-tv-program, #corden-james-1978, #fallon-jimmy, #jimmy-kimmel-live-tv-program, #kimmel-jimmy, #late-night-with-seth-meyers-tv-program, #late-show-with-stephen-colbert-tv-program, #meyers-seth, #noah-trevor-1984, #obrien-conan, #television, #the-daily-show-with-trevor-noah-tv-program, #the-late-late-show-with-james-corden-tv-program, #the-tonight-show-tv-program

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Late Night Weighs In on Biden’s First Day on the Job

It’s never easy, “especially when you’re the new manager and the last guy got called into H.R. for inappropriate workplace treasoning,” Stephen Colbert said.

#biden-joseph-r-jr, #colbert-stephen, #fallon-jimmy, #jimmy-kimmel-live-tv-program, #kimmel-jimmy, #late-night-with-seth-meyers-tv-program, #late-show-with-stephen-colbert-tv-program, #meyers-seth, #noah-trevor-1984, #television, #the-daily-show-with-trevor-noah-tv-program, #the-tonight-show-tv-program, #trump-donald-j

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Samantha Bee Welcomes America’s ‘Brand-New Very Old President’

Bee and other hosts were relieved to see the Trump years finally end. “So that’s what it feels like when you’re not grinding your teeth,” Seth Meyers said.

#bee-samantha, #biden-joseph-r-jr, #corden-james-1978, #fallon-jimmy, #jimmy-kimmel-live-tv-program, #kimmel-jimmy, #late-night-with-seth-meyers-tv-program, #late-show-with-stephen-colbert-tv-program, #meyers-seth, #noah-trevor-1984, #television, #the-late-late-show-with-james-corden-tv-program, #the-tonight-show-tv-program, #trump-donald-j

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Late Night Reflects on the Legacy of ‘He Who Shall Remain Shameless’

Inauguration Eve is “the day before the day we’ve all been waiting for,” Stephen Colbert said on Tuesday night.

#colbert-stephen, #fallon-jimmy, #jimmy-kimmel-live-tv-program, #kimmel-jimmy, #late-show-with-stephen-colbert-tv-program, #meyers-seth, #noah-trevor-1984, #the-daily-show-with-trevor-noah-tv-program, #the-late-late-show-with-james-corden-tv-program, #the-tonight-show-tv-program

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Late Night Celebrates the Final 36 Hours of Trump in Charge

“Normally, after a president’s term, they show before and after photos to prove how much the job aged him. This time, they’re showing before and after photos of all of us,” Jimmy Fallon joked on Monday.

#colbert-stephen, #conan-tv-program, #fallon-jimmy, #jimmy-kimmel-live-tv-program, #kimmel-jimmy, #king-martin-luther-jr, #late-night-with-seth-meyers-tv-program, #late-show-with-stephen-colbert-tv-program, #meyers-seth, #television, #the-late-late-show-with-james-corden-tv-program, #the-tonight-show-tv-program, #trump-donald-j

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Late Night: Shocker. Trump Stiffs Giuliani and Won’t Take His Calls.

“Impeachment was great, but there really is no more perfect way for this to end than Trump stiffing Rudy,” Seth Meyers said.

#colbert-stephen, #corden-james-1978, #fallon-jimmy, #giuliani-rudolph-w, #jimmy-kimmel-live-tv-program, #kimmel-jimmy, #late-night-with-seth-meyers-tv-program, #late-show-with-stephen-colbert-tv-program, #meyers-seth, #television, #the-late-late-show-with-james-corden-tv-program, #the-tonight-show-tv-program, #trump-donald-j

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Late Night Reviews ‘Trump’s Impeachment: The Sequel’

“Makes sense — this president loves having seconds,” Stephen Colbert said on Wednesday.

#colbert-stephen, #corden-james-1978, #fallon-jimmy, #jimmy-kimmel-live-tv-program, #kimmel-jimmy, #late-night-with-seth-meyers-tv-program, #late-show-with-stephen-colbert-tv-program, #meyers-seth, #pence-mike, #the-late-late-show-with-james-corden-tv-program, #the-tonight-show-tv-program, #trump-donald-j

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Late Night Is a Bit Concerned About Trump’s Last Nine Days

Jimmy Kimmel wants him out, but admits that “usually when the Senate tries to ram something through that quickly, it’s a conservative Supreme Court justice.”

#colbert-stephen, #fallon-jimmy, #jimmy-kimmel-live-tv-program, #kimmel-jimmy, #late-night-with-seth-meyers-tv-program, #late-show-with-stephen-colbert-tv-program, #meyers-seth, #pence-mike, #the-tonight-show-tv-program, #trump-donald-j

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Stephen Colbert Goes ‘Unexpectedly Live’

“It’s a horrifying day that will go down in U.S. history, however much longer that is,” Colbert said after President Trump incited a mob of his supporters to storm the Capitol.

#colbert-stephen, #corden-james-1978, #fallon-jimmy, #kimmel-jimmy, #late-show-with-stephen-colbert-tv-program, #meyers-seth, #rather-dan, #the-late-late-show-with-james-corden-tv-program, #the-tonight-show-tv-program, #trump-donald-j

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Late Night Wonders if Mike Pence Will Stand by His Man

Seth Meyers joked that the vice president had to “choose between the Constitution and a sleazy mafia don cold-calling election officials illegally, begging for votes like a telemarketer.”

#colbert-stephen, #fallon-jimmy, #jimmy-kimmel-live-tv-program, #kimmel-jimmy, #late-night-with-seth-meyers-tv-program, #late-show-with-stephen-colbert-tv-program, #meyers-seth, #pence-mike, #the-tonight-show-tv-program, #trump-donald-j

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Late Night Returns in Time for Another Perfect Trump Call

Just as the hosts’ holiday break was ending, President Trump asked Georgia’s secretary of state to “find” some more votes for him.

#colbert-stephen, #corden-james-1978, #fallon-jimmy, #jimmy-kimmel-live-tv-program, #kimmel-jimmy, #late-night-with-seth-meyers-tv-program, #late-show-with-stephen-colbert-tv-program, #meyers-seth, #raffensperger-brad, #the-late-late-show-with-james-corden-tv-program, #the-tonight-show-tv-program, #trump-donald-j

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Watch Jimmy Kimmel Target Trump’s ‘Perfect’ Georgia Call

Just as the hosts’ holiday break was ending, President Trump asked Georgia’s secretary of state to “find” some more votes for him.

#colbert-stephen, #corden-james-1978, #fallon-jimmy, #jimmy-kimmel-live-tv-program, #kimmel-jimmy, #late-night-with-seth-meyers-tv-program, #late-show-with-stephen-colbert-tv-program, #meyers-seth, #raffensperger-brad, #the-late-late-show-with-james-corden-tv-program, #the-tonight-show-tv-program, #trump-donald-j

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Late Night in 2020: The Show Must Go Home

This year late-night hosts took their shows remote during the pandemic, got serious about America’s biggest problems and prepared to say goodbye to President Trump (eventually).

#batiste-jon-1986, #colbert-stephen, #fallon-jimmy, #meyers-seth, #obrien-conan, #ruffin-amber, #singh-lilly, #television, #two-thousand-twenty

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Late Night Compares Trump Health Adviser, Paul Alexander, to a Comic Book Villain

The former Health and Human Services adviser’s leaked emails encouraged herd immunity to deal with the pandemic, writing of Americans, “We want them infected.”

#colbert-stephen, #fallon-jimmy, #jimmy-kimmel-live-tv-program, #kimmel-jimmy, #late-night-with-seth-meyers-tv-program, #late-show-with-stephen-colbert-tv-program, #meyers-seth, #the-tonight-show-tv-program, #trump-donald-j

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Some Republicans Finally Face ‘Their Biggest Fear: Reality,’ Colbert Says

Mitch McConnell’s congratulating Joe Biden on his victory in the election was big news among late-night hosts like Stephen Colbert.

#barr-william-p, #biden-joseph-r-jr, #colbert-stephen, #fallon-jimmy, #jimmy-kimmel-live-tv-program, #kimmel-jimmy, #late-show-with-stephen-colbert-tv-program, #mcconnell-mitch, #meyers-seth, #noah-trevor-1984, #putin-vladimir-v, #the-daily-show-with-trevor-noah-tv-program, #the-late-late-show-with-james-corden-tv-program, #the-tonight-show-tv-program, #trump-donald-j

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Late Night Is Ready to Take Jabs

“That’s right, people all across America are lining up for shots,” Jimmy Fallon said on Monday. “Normally, when that happens here in December, we call it SantaCon.”

#biden-joseph-r-jr, #colbert-stephen, #corden-james-1978, #fallon-jimmy, #late-night-with-seth-meyers-tv-program, #late-show-with-stephen-colbert-tv-program, #meyers-seth, #noah-trevor-1984, #the-late-late-show-with-james-corden-tv-program, #the-tonight-show-tv-program

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Late-Night Hosts Celebrate ‘V-Day’ in Britain

Stephen Colbert and others riffed on 90-year-old Margaret Keenan and 81-year-old William Shakespeare, the first recipients of Pfizer’s coronavirus vaccine in a mass inoculation program.

#colbert-stephen, #corden-james-1978, #fallon-jimmy, #jimmy-kimmel-live-tv-program, #kimmel-jimmy, #late-night-with-seth-meyers-tv-program, #late-show-with-stephen-colbert-tv-program, #meyers-seth, #noah-trevor-1984, #the-daily-show-with-trevor-noah-tv-program, #the-late-late-show-with-james-corden-tv-program, #the-tonight-show-tv-program, #trump-donald-j

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Late Night Lampoons Giuliani, ‘America’s Sprayer’

“Sadly, this Covid test is the only positive thing to come out of Rudy Giuliani in four years,” Jimmy Kimmel joked on Monday.

#colbert-stephen, #corden-james-1978, #fallon-jimmy, #giuliani-rudolph-w, #kimmel-jimmy, #late-night-with-seth-meyers-tv-program, #late-show-with-stephen-colbert-tv-program, #meyers-seth, #noah-trevor-1984, #the-daily-show-with-trevor-noah-tv-program, #the-late-late-show-with-james-corden-tv-program, #the-tonight-show-tv-program, #trump-donald-j

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Late Night Won’t Let Trump’s Legal Team Forget Sidney Powell So Easily

Stephen Colbert said the disavowed lawyer and conspiracy theorist had been invited to a news conference last week by mistake, joking, “They meant to invite Sidney Powell Total Landscaping.”

#colbert-stephen, #fallon-jimmy, #giuliani-rudolph-w, #jimmy-kimmel-live-tv-program, #kimmel-jimmy, #late-night-with-seth-meyers-tv-program, #late-show-with-stephen-colbert-tv-program, #meyers-seth, #the-tonight-show-tv-program, #trump-donald-j

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Giuliani Got a Bad Batch of ‘Just for Henchmen’ Hair Dye, Colbert Says

“Remind me, is it a good sign when your lawyer starts melting?” Stephen Colbert joked after Rudy Giuliani appeared to sweat hair dye during a news conference.

#colbert-stephen, #dyes-and-dyestuffs, #fallon-jimmy, #giuliani-rudolph-w, #hair, #jimmy-kimmel-live-tv-program, #kimmel-jimmy, #late-night-with-seth-meyers-tv-program, #late-show-with-stephen-colbert-tv-program, #meyers-seth, #noah-trevor-1984, #the-daily-show-with-trevor-noah-tv-program, #the-tonight-show-tv-program

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Working for Trump Ends in Getting Fired or Getting Covid, Kimmel Says

President Trump fired Christopher Krebs, a senior cybersecurity official, via Twitter on Tuesday. “Usually to get rid of Krebs, Trump uses a little comb and some medicated shampoo,” Jimmy Kimmel joked.

#colbert-stephen, #corden-james-1978, #fallon-jimmy, #jimmy-kimmel-live-tv-program, #kimmel-jimmy, #late-night-with-seth-meyers-tv-program, #late-show-with-stephen-colbert-tv-program, #meyers-seth, #the-late-late-show-with-james-corden-tv-program, #the-tonight-show-tv-program

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Jimmy Kimmel Calls Giuliani the ‘Gift That Keeps on Grifting’

“I guess this explains why Trump has been passing the MAGA hat around, asking his fans to donate to his legal defense fund,” Kimmel said of Rudy Giuliani’s alleged request to be paid $20,000 a day.

#colbert-stephen, #fallon-jimmy, #giuliani-rudolph-w, #graham-lindsey, #jimmy-kimmel-live-tv-program, #kimmel-jimmy, #late-night-with-seth-meyers-tv-program, #late-show-with-stephen-colbert-tv-program, #meyers-seth, #obrien-conan, #raffensperger-brad, #the-tonight-show-tv-program, #trump-donald-j

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Trump Counts Crowd’s Size Using ‘MAGA Math,’ Says Stephen Colbert

“Ten thousand, a million — it’s just how they count,” Colbert said of Saturday’s Million MAGA March. “You round up for marches, you round down for Covid deaths.”

#colbert-stephen, #corden-james-1978, #fallon-jimmy, #jimmy-kimmel-live-tv-program, #kimmel-jimmy, #late-night-with-seth-meyers-tv-program, #late-show-with-stephen-colbert-tv-program, #meyers-seth, #noah-trevor-1984, #the-daily-show-with-trevor-noah-tv-program, #the-late-late-show-with-james-corden-tv-program, #the-tonight-show-tv-program, #trump-donald-j

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Jimmy Kimmel Has a Name for Trump’s Refusal to Concede: ‘Squattergate’

“Why don’t we just make him president of Alaska?” Kimmel said Thursday. “He’d love it. It even sounds like the names of his wives and daughters: Melania, Ivana, Ivanka — Alaska.”

#biden-joseph-r-jr, #colbert-stephen, #jimmy-kimmel-live-tv-program, #kimmel-jimmy, #late-night-with-seth-meyers-tv-program, #late-show-with-stephen-colbert-tv-program, #meyers-seth, #noah-trevor-1984, #the-daily-show-with-trevor-noah-tv-program, #trump-donald-j

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Trump’s Legacy Is Already Tarnished, Stephen Colbert Says

The “Late Show” host said President Trump’s refusal to concede the election was the least of his transgressions: “It’s like finding out Jeffrey Dahmer illegally parked in handicapped spots — bad, but the ledger’s pretty full. And so’s the freezer.”

#biden-joseph-r-jr, #fallon-jimmy, #jimmy-kimmel-live-tv-program, #kimmel-jimmy, #late-night-with-seth-meyers-tv-program, #meyers-seth, #noah-trevor-1984, #the-daily-show-with-trevor-noah-tv-program, #the-tonight-show-tv-program, #trump-donald-j

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Jimmy Kimmel: Trump Is a Reality Show Host Who Can’t Accept Reality

“Republicans are handling the president with kid gloves because those are the only gloves that fit him,” Kimmel joked of President Trump’s refusal to concede to Joe Biden.

#fallon-jimmy, #kimmel-jimmy, #late-night-with-seth-meyers-tv-program, #late-show-with-stephen-colbert-tv-program, #meyers-seth, #noah-trevor-1984, #the-daily-show-with-trevor-noah-tv-program, #the-tonight-show-tv-program

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Stephen Colbert Doesn’t Feel Like Laughing

In an emotional speech, the “Late Show” host accused President Trump of trying to “poison American democracy” by claiming the election was being stolen.

#colbert-stephen, #conan-tv-program, #jimmy-kimmel-live-tv-program, #kimmel-jimmy, #late-night-with-seth-meyers-tv-program, #late-show-with-stephen-colbert-tv-program, #meyers-seth, #noah-trevor-1984, #obrien-conan, #television, #the-daily-show-with-trevor-noah-tv-program, #the-tonight-show-tv-program

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Late Night Is Ready for the Election to Be Over

“I thought if your election lasted more than 48 hours you were supposed to seek medical attention,” Jimmy Kimmel said on Wednesday.

#biden-joseph-r-jr, #colbert-stephen, #fallon-jimmy, #jimmy-kimmel-live-tv-program, #kimmel-jimmy, #late-show-with-stephen-colbert-tv-program, #meyers-seth, #noah-trevor-1984, #the-daily-show-with-trevor-noah-tv-program, #the-late-late-show-with-james-corden-tv-program, #the-tonight-show-tv-program, #trump-donald-j

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Late Night Is Too Nervous to Believe in Biden-Leading Polls

“It feels like we’re all Charlie Brown going to kick the football, but we know at the last second Lucy’s gonna give us coronavirus,” Stephen Colbert joked on Thursday.

#biden-joseph-r-jr, #colbert-stephen, #fallon-jimmy, #late-night-with-seth-meyers-tv-program, #late-show-with-stephen-colbert-tv-program, #meyers-seth, #noah-trevor-1984, #the-daily-show-with-trevor-noah-tv-program, #the-tonight-show-tv-program, #trump-donald-j

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Jimmy Fallon: ‘Even Trump Supporters Are Turning Blue’

The “Tonight Show” host joined his late-night colleagues in chastising President Trump for stranding supporters in near-freezing temperatures after a Tuesday rally in Omaha.

#colbert-stephen, #fallon-jimmy, #jimmy-kimmel-live-tv-program, #kimmel-jimmy, #late-show-with-stephen-colbert-tv-program, #meyers-seth, #noah-trevor-1984, #the-daily-show-with-trevor-noah-tv-program, #the-tonight-show-tv-program, #trump-donald-j

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Trevor Noah: Replacing RBG With ACB Is Like Trading LeBron for Ben Carson

“Technically, yes, they’re swapping one Black man for another, but good luck on making the playoffs next season,” Noah joked on Tuesday’s “Daily Show.”

#barrett-amy-coney, #colbert-stephen, #conan-tv-program, #fallon-jimmy, #kimmel-jimmy, #late-night-with-seth-meyers-tv-program, #late-show-with-stephen-colbert-tv-program, #meyers-seth, #noah-trevor-1984, #ruffin-amber, #the-daily-show-with-trevor-noah-tv-program, #the-late-late-show-with-james-corden-tv-program, #the-tonight-show-tv-program, #trump-donald-j

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Stephen Colbert: Mike Pence Is ‘America’s Spare Tire’

After the White House called the vice president an essential worker, Colbert said: “At best, he is vice essential. You want him in the trunk, but you hope to never have to use him.”

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Stephen Colbert Celebrates Trump’s Final Debate

“Counting the 2016 Republican primary, we’ve watched him do that 16 times,” Colbert said. “It’s excruciating. It’s like dental surgery and tonight was like getting our last wisdom tooth taken out.”

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Jimmy Kimmel Tackles Trump’s Secret Chinese Bank Account

“Of course Donald Trump has a Chinese bank account. He had to — he’s running out of things to be hypocritical about,” Kimmel joked on Wednesday night.

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Late Night Doesn’t Think It’s Possible to Mute Trump

“He’s just going to shout or, even worse, he’ll just walk over to Biden and use his mic,” Trevor Noah predicted of the upcoming debate. “He’ll probably lick it, too.”

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Stephen Colbert Anxiously Reads the Latest Polls

The “Late Show” host tossed some table salt and knocked on wood so as not to jinx Biden, who currently leads the president by 10 points in the polls.

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Jimmy Fallon Riffs on Mike Pence’s Fly and Pink Eye

“He’s the head of the coronavirus task force. Not really a great look when you’re covered in bugs and bleeding out of your eye,” Fallon said on Thursday.

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Trump Returns to ‘The Infest Wing’

“When she heard he was coming home, Melania immediately checked herself into Walter Reed,” Jimmy Fallon joked on Monday.

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Samantha Bee Decries Trump’s ‘Stand Back and Stand By’

“Do not tell Trump that he can say anything he wants about race,” Bee said — one reason being that “Mark Burnett will have to spend hours erasing the tapes.”

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