The “Tonight Show” host joked that the Wisconsin Republican could be more detested for at least the 10 hours that Senate clerks read the 628-page stimulus bill aloud, as Johnson demanded.
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Tag Archives: Noah, Trevor (1984- )
Stephen Colbert: QAnon Supporters Suffer From ‘March Madness’
Colbert poked fun at the group’s latest conspiracy theory that March 4 would be Donald Trump’s true Inauguration Day.
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Jimmy Kimmel Skewers Andrew Cuomo Over Sexual Harassment Allegations
“In the span of one month, Andrew Cuomo has somehow done the impossible: He made Bill de Blasio the second-most-hated politician in New York,” Kimmel said.
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Late Night Recaps CPAC and the Golden Globes
The conference was billed as the largest and most influential gathering of conservatives in the world, Stephen Colbert said on Monday. “That’s if you don’t count their last gathering” at the Capitol.
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Late Night Laughs Off Mike Pence’s Renewed Loyalty to Trump
“I don’t know where the line is between forgiving and being a doormat, but Mike Pence crossed it a long time ago,” Trevor Noah said.
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Late Night Blasts Ted Cruz’s Post-Cancún Photo Op
“On Saturday, he posted photos of himself handing out bottled water with the hashtag ‘Texas strong.’ Sure, dude, we totally believe you,” Seth Meyers joked on Monday.
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Jimmy Kimmel: Texas in Crisis, Ted Cruz Says, ‘Adios, Amigos’
“Snake on a plane, right there!” Kimmel joked. “Headed, ironically, to the very place he tried to build the wall around.”
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Late Night Blasts Conservatives Blaming Windmills for Texas Blackouts
“I know people were praying for Texas to go blue, but not like this,” Trevor Noah joked on Wednesday’s “Daily Show.”
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Snowstorm Disarmed Texas, Trevor Noah Says
“They don’t have snow shovels out there. Their best bet is to grab their AR-15s and shoot each snowflake before it lands: ‘Go back to Canada where you belong!’” Noah joked on Tuesday.
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Jimmy Kimmel Knows How the Impeachment Sequel Will End
“It’s kind of like ‘The Empire Strikes Back,’” Kimmel said. “We already know how it ends, but we’re watching it anyway.”
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Stephen Colbert Gets Serious About New Insurrection Evidence
“Because only by facing this truth will we have any hope of stopping it from happening again,” Colbert said. “Also, I’m pretty convinced it wasn’t antifa now.”
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Trump’s Trial: Stephen Colbert Experiences ‘Déjà Coup’
Donald Trump’s second impeachment trial kicked off on Tuesday with late-night hosts predicting it will end just like the first.
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Jimmy Kimmel Tackles ‘Weirdest Super Bowl’ Ever
“This was the first Super Bowl ever where I had to yell, ‘Be quiet — I’m trying to hear the poem!’” Kimmel said.
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Trevor Noah: Marjorie Taylor Greene Deleted Her Browser History IRL
The congresswoman disavowed some of her outlandish statements. But Noah says she’s “so crazy that her saying that 9/11 happened makes me go, ‘Wait, did it?’”
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Trump’s Being Impeached Again, So It Must Be Groundhog Day
“His lawyers just copied and pasted his defense from the last impeachment: Control-F ‘Ukraine,’ replace with ‘riot,’” Jimmy Fallon said.
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Trump’s New Lawyers Represent Him Well, Says Late Night
“My God, who on Earth would hire Jeffrey Epstein’s defense lawyer?” Stephen Colbert said on Monday. “Oh, Jeffrey Epstein’s wingman? Yeah, that makes sense.”
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Jimmy Kimmel Thinks Marjorie Taylor Greene Needs an Education
“If you don’t know who this person is, I wish I didn’t, too,” Kimmel said of the QAnon enthusiast who’s been named to the House Education and Labor Committee.
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Stephen Colbert Is Thrilled to Have a President With a Plan
“Yesterday, President Biden announced a dramatic change to America’s Covid plan: There is one,” Colbert said on Wednesday.
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Late Night Is Unswayed by Republicans’ Excuses
Trevor Noah says the end of Donald Trump’s term is no reason not to impeach him: “If you get fired at Best Buy, they don’t just let you steal a TV on the way out.”
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Late Night Weighs In on Biden’s First Day on the Job
It’s never easy, “especially when you’re the new manager and the last guy got called into H.R. for inappropriate workplace treasoning,” Stephen Colbert said.
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Samantha Bee Welcomes America’s ‘Brand-New Very Old President’
Bee and other hosts were relieved to see the Trump years finally end. “So that’s what it feels like when you’re not grinding your teeth,” Seth Meyers said.
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Late Night Reflects on the Legacy of ‘He Who Shall Remain Shameless’
Inauguration Eve is “the day before the day we’ve all been waiting for,” Stephen Colbert said on Tuesday night.
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Jimmy Kimmel Finds It Fitting That Trump’s Neighbors Don’t Want Him
Residents of Palm Beach, Fla., objected to President Trump’s post-White House plan to live at his Mar-a-Lago resort. “In other words, God exists and has a very good sense of humor about all of this,” Kimmel said.
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Some Republicans Finally Face ‘Their Biggest Fear: Reality,’ Colbert Says
Mitch McConnell’s congratulating Joe Biden on his victory in the election was big news among late-night hosts like Stephen Colbert.
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Late Night Is Ready to Take Jabs
“That’s right, people all across America are lining up for shots,” Jimmy Fallon said on Monday. “Normally, when that happens here in December, we call it SantaCon.”
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Jimmy Fallon: Trump’s Hanukkah Party Was a ‘Festival of Lies’
“Even the dreidel was looking at Trump like, ‘Damn, this guy spins more than I do,’” Fallon joked on Wednesday.
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Trevor Noah: Trump Takes Another ‘L’ Trying to ‘Unlose’ the Election
“Not only did they shut this case down, but they shut it down in just 34 minutes,” Noah said of the Supreme Court. “They didn’t even pretend that they were going to consider it.”
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Late-Night Hosts Celebrate ‘V-Day’ in Britain
Stephen Colbert and others riffed on 90-year-old Margaret Keenan and 81-year-old William Shakespeare, the first recipients of Pfizer’s coronavirus vaccine in a mass inoculation program.
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Late Night Lampoons Giuliani, ‘America’s Sprayer’
“Sadly, this Covid test is the only positive thing to come out of Rudy Giuliani in four years,” Jimmy Kimmel joked on Monday.
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Late Night: Vaccinating Ex-Presidents Is Hardly Must-See TV
Barack Obama, George W. Bush and Bill Clinton offered to take a coronavirus vaccine on camera. Jimmy Kimmel isn’t worried about losing viewers to that program.
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Who’ll Be Pardoned for What? Stephen Colbert Invites You to Guess
Colbert made a game out of the speculation about presidential pardons: “You have to match the person to their crime, and there are no wrong answers.”
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Stephen Colbert Says Bill Barr Will Be Missed
Barr said the Justice Department had not found voter fraud on a scale that could change election results. “Fraud on a scale — also known as the president’s annual physical,” Colbert joked Tuesday.
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Late Night Reels as Joe Biden Gets the Boot, Too
“Someone check who that dog voted for,” Trevor Noah said after the president-elect fractured his foot while playing with his German shepherd.
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Giuliani Got a Bad Batch of ‘Just for Henchmen’ Hair Dye, Colbert Says
“Remind me, is it a good sign when your lawyer starts melting?” Stephen Colbert joked after Rudy Giuliani appeared to sweat hair dye during a news conference.
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7 Podcasts From Familiar Faces
The podcast boom has produced plenty of star vehicles in audio form, and these celebrity-hosted shows are a cut above the rest.
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Trump Counts Crowd’s Size Using ‘MAGA Math,’ Says Stephen Colbert
“Ten thousand, a million — it’s just how they count,” Colbert said of Saturday’s Million MAGA March. “You round up for marches, you round down for Covid deaths.”
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Jimmy Kimmel Has a Name for Trump’s Refusal to Concede: ‘Squattergate’
“Why don’t we just make him president of Alaska?” Kimmel said Thursday. “He’d love it. It even sounds like the names of his wives and daughters: Melania, Ivana, Ivanka — Alaska.”
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Trump’s Legacy Is Already Tarnished, Stephen Colbert Says
The “Late Show” host said President Trump’s refusal to concede the election was the least of his transgressions: “It’s like finding out Jeffrey Dahmer illegally parked in handicapped spots — bad, but the ledger’s pretty full. And so’s the freezer.”
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Jimmy Kimmel: Trump Is a Reality Show Host Who Can’t Accept Reality
“Republicans are handling the president with kid gloves because those are the only gloves that fit him,” Kimmel joked of President Trump’s refusal to concede to Joe Biden.
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Seth Meyers Celebrates Election Results Coming Up Biden
“You know you were a bad president when people were celebrating an old white centrist like he was the sunset at Burning Man,” the “Late Night” host joked of President Trump’s loss.
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Stephen Colbert Doesn’t Feel Like Laughing
In an emotional speech, the “Late Show” host accused President Trump of trying to “poison American democracy” by claiming the election was being stolen.
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Late Night Is Ready for the Election to Be Over
“I thought if your election lasted more than 48 hours you were supposed to seek medical attention,” Jimmy Kimmel said on Wednesday.
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Trevor Noah and Stephen Colbert Bring Levity to Election Specials
The late night hosts weighed in on race results with special guests on their one-hour election specials.
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America Is Going Full ‘Mad Max’ for Election Day, Late Night Says
“Right now, they’re erecting a massive protective fence around the White House in the event that things get crazy,” Jimmy Kimmel said. “It took four years, but Trump finally got his wall built.”
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Late Night Is Too Nervous to Believe in Biden-Leading Polls
“It feels like we’re all Charlie Brown going to kick the football, but we know at the last second Lucy’s gonna give us coronavirus,” Stephen Colbert joked on Thursday.
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Jimmy Fallon: ‘Even Trump Supporters Are Turning Blue’
The “Tonight Show” host joined his late-night colleagues in chastising President Trump for stranding supporters in near-freezing temperatures after a Tuesday rally in Omaha.
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Trevor Noah: Replacing RBG With ACB Is Like Trading LeBron for Ben Carson
“Technically, yes, they’re swapping one Black man for another, but good luck on making the playoffs next season,” Noah joked on Tuesday’s “Daily Show.”
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Stephen Colbert: Mike Pence Is ‘America’s Spare Tire’
After the White House called the vice president an essential worker, Colbert said: “At best, he is vice essential. You want him in the trunk, but you hope to never have to use him.”
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Stephen Colbert Celebrates Trump’s Final Debate
“Counting the 2016 Republican primary, we’ve watched him do that 16 times,” Colbert said. “It’s excruciating. It’s like dental surgery and tonight was like getting our last wisdom tooth taken out.”
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Jimmy Kimmel Tackles Trump’s Secret Chinese Bank Account
“Of course Donald Trump has a Chinese bank account. He had to — he’s running out of things to be hypocritical about,” Kimmel joked on Wednesday night.
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