Hosts weighed in on President Trump’s refusal to say he would step down if he lost the election. “Well, so much for that Nobel Peace Prize,” Jimmy Kimmel said on Thursday.
Attending a Trump event is as risky as “doorknob licking, hugging everyone on the subway and eating shrimp at the strip club buffet,” the “Late Night” host said.
“The Daily Show” host said that Mr. Romney’s decision on a new Supreme Court justice destroyed the illusion that he was “the dad you ask when your other Republican dads say no.”
Some senators who wouldn’t consider Barack Obama’s nominee in 2016 are happy to vote on President Trump’s. “Hypocrisy only matters if you have shame,” Seth Meyers explained.
After President Trump seemed to blame liberal states for the Covid-19 death toll, Meyers said he’d done a great job “if you just take out all the people that died.”
“I assume the night started with each of them being roused from a coma,” Colbert said of the uncommitted audience at President Trump’s Philadelphia town hall.
“Wow, Steve Doocy just told the president of the United States, ‘Don’t call us, we’ll call you,’” Trevor Noah joked after President Trump announced on-air he’d call into “Fox & Friends” every week and the co-host suggested otherwise.
“It looks like the next long-term residency in Las Vegas will be the coronavirus,” Jimmy Fallon said on Monday’s “Tonight Show.”
“When you see that your team is headed for a huge defeat, you come up with some plays, right?” the “Daily Show” host said.
“Other than the 245 times Trump has actually called someone a loser and a sucker on Twitter, he’d never say anything like that,” Jimmy Fallon joked in his monologue on Tuesday.
The former Trump adviser has been charged with fraud, but the hosts seemed almost as interested in his current look. Seth Meyers called him a “baked-potato Fabio.”
“Trump’s entire list of enemies” addressed the convention on Wednesday, said Jimmy Fallon. “The White House must have restrained him tonight like he was Hannibal Lecter.”
The former first lady’s speech at the Democratic National Convention made quite an impression on Noah and the other hosts.
“I have to say, watching the first night of the convention was very inspiring,” Colbert said. “It gave me hope because it brought me back to where I was four years ago: in a room with other people.”
“At this point, our best shot at Trump attacking Covid is someone telling him the virus ovulates,” Fallon said after the president called Kamala Harris a “mad woman.”
After the president called Kamala Harris “horrible” because of her treatment of Joe Biden at a debate, Trevor Noah said, “I thought this election would be Trump versus Joe Biden.”
The president said mail-in voting could put the election results in doubt. Seth Meyers joked that he sounded like “a loan shark saying, ‘I’d hate to see your thumbs get broken.’”
Noah said he’d be happy to see the president not just carved on Mount Rushmore, but also sent there himself. “No phone, no internet, problem solved,” he joked on Monday night’s “Daily Show.”
“That’s right, no more N.R.A., no more Confederate flags. This is turning into the worst year of Ted Nugent’s life,” the “Tonight Show” host said.
The “Axios on HBO” interview was “such a disaster, at one point FEMA showed up and wrapped Trump in a foil blanket,” the “Tonight Show” host said.
“I’m almost certain Trump has no idea what TikTok is. I’m betting TikTok was one of the answers he wrote on his cognitive test,” Seth Meyers joked on Monday’s “Late Night.”
Fallon wonders just how far back he wants to push the election: “Months, like your response to Covid? Years, like your response to Putin? Or decades, like a hug for Don Jr.?”
The president said he didn’t ask Vladimir Putin whether Russia paid to have U.S. troops killed. The “Daily Show” host can see why that talk would have been “super awkward.”
“It’s like Crazy Trump was away for a week and then someone said ‘hydroxychloroquine’ three times,” Fallon said after the president shared another dubious video.
The senator’s reference to slavery had Seth Meyers marveling at Republicans’ communication skills: “Seriously, these guys just keep coming up with winners.”
As a teenager, I thought his ‘Tonight Show’ was a bland, uncool relic. Now I appreciate his deadpan humor and the loose weirdness of his interviews.
“It was impressive until they asked Trump what he ate for lunch that day and he said, ‘Person. Woman. Man. Camera. TV,’” Jimmy Fallon joked after the president once again bragged about his cognitive test results.
The president told Americans that things would get worse and urged them to wear masks. The “Late Show” host said that might have been helpful a few months ago.
“Chris Wallace did two things right there that Trump absolutely hates: He proved him wrong, and he made him do homework,” Noah said of the president’s “Fox News Sunday” interview.
President Trump’s demotion of Brad Parscale a few months before the election is “like a jockey jumping off his horse in the homestretch and deciding to run the rest of the way,” said Seth Meyers.
Ivanka Trump posed with a can of Goya beans after the company’s president praised her father. “Sadly, after Ivanka tweeted in Spanish, Trump immediately had her deported,” said Jimmy Fallon.
“The only way it would be more infectious is if the dinner was an all-you-can-bob lasagna buffet,” Stephen Colbert said of the party’s upcoming convention in Jacksonville.
After the president finally wore a face mask in public, the “Tonight Show” host called it “a really smart move — if today were March 13th.”
“Unfortunately, putting a piece of cloth on your face has become a culture war, thanks almost entirely to our president,” Stephen Colbert said on Thursday night.
The Democratic presidential contender leads President Trump in a new poll, but Stephen Colbert and Seth Meyers suggested that the former vice president stay in his basement to help ensure a win.
“Yep, Trump visited the wall today, because in time of crisis, it’s important to be with your loved ones,” Fallon joked on Tuesday’s “Tonight Show.”
“Nothing is more humiliating than when you throw a party and most of the guests don’t show up,” Trevor Noah said on Monday’s “Daily Social Distancing Show.”
“Basically, Trump’s trying to dunk on Obama but Ruth Bader Ginsburg is blocking all his shots,” Jimmy Fallon said on Thursday.
In his memoir, Bolton claims that Trump asked if Finland was part of Russia. Stephen Colbert said that “under President Trump, it feels like we’re kind of part of Russia.”
The president will campaign in Tulsa, site of a racist massacre, on Juneteenth, a day that honors the end of slavery. “Couldn’t you just not do that?” Fallon asked.
The “Tonight Show” host was forced to publicly reckon with a blackface clip from his past and his own role in systemic racism. But will it lead to a true change, or was it just lip service?
“Every other industry, you know, they have to prove their commitment by hiring thousands of new black people,” said Trevor Noah. “The N.F.L.’s just got to hire one.”
Meyers fact-checked Trump’s claim to have christened the former defense secretary “Mad Dog”: “We know you didn’t come up with it because it’s a cool nickname.”
“Trump couldn’t have done more damage to the Constitution last night if he’d pulled a Sinead O’Connor and ripped it up on live television and then ate the pieces,” Seth Meyers joked on Tuesday.
On Monday night, hosts talked about the protests, police brutality and racism. Jimmy Fallon started by addressing the fact that he’d worn blackface on “Saturday Night Live.”
In a ‘Saturday Night Live’ sketch from 2000, Mr. Fallon appears in blackface while impersonating his fellow comedian Chris Rock.
After President Trump told the press he was taking hydroxychloroquine, Kimmel looked up the side effects and decided it must be true.
“Two things Donald Trump has definitely always loved: manual labor and the thing where fruit comes from,” Stephen Colbert said of Trump’s Earth Day ceremony.
Stephen Colbert compared the president to a fireman doing “a one-man show about how it’s not my fault that your house is burning down.”
“So get ready for new director of allergy and infectious disease, Kid Rock,” Stephen Colbert joked on Monday night.